Think Like a Monk

From business school to the ashram

Jay Shetty grew up in London. As a university student, he heard a talk by a Hindu monk and was struck by how calm and content the man seemed. Shetty spent his summers training with monks in India. After he graduated, he left a path in business to become a monk in the Vedic tradition. He lived as a monk for about three years. Then he decided his purpose was to share what he had learned with a wider audience, so he returned to ordinary life. He later became a popular podcaster and video creator.

The book's premise is simple. You do not need to shave your head or move to an ashram to benefit from a monk's mindset. Monks train their minds to handle fear, distraction, negativity and ego. Those same skills help anyone live with more calm and purpose.

Shetty draws heavily on the Bhagavad Gita, an ancient Hindu scripture, and on the teachings of his own teachers. He also cites modern psychology. The book has three parts: Let Go, Grow and Give. Each part ends with a meditation practice: breathwork, visualization and chanting.

Let go: identity and negativity

Identity. Shetty starts with the question "Who am I?" He argues that most people build their identity from other people's opinions. We chase careers, looks and possessions because we think others expect them. He compares this to a mirror covered in dust: the noise of other people's views hides our true self.

His first step is to clear away that noise. Examine your values and ask where they came from. The Gita lists higher values, such as fearlessness, purity of mind, self-control, honesty and compassion, and lower values, such as greed, lust, anger, ego, illusion and envy. Shetty asks readers to notice how they spend their time and money, because that reveals what they truly value.

Negativity. Shetty describes how negativity spreads. Complaining, gossip and comparison feel normal, but they drain our energy and shape our thoughts. He describes types of negative people, such as constant critics and complainers, and suggests ways to limit their effect.

His main tool is a three-step method: Spot, Stop, Swap.

1. Spot: notice negative thoughts and comments as they happen. Some people keep a tally of how many times they complain in a day.
2. Stop: pause before you react. Ask where the negativity comes from.
3. Swap: replace the negative thought with a better one, such as turning a complaint into gratitude or a judgment into curiosity.

Shetty also talks about forgiveness. Holding on to anger keeps you tied to the person who hurt you. Forgiveness frees you, even if the other person never apologizes.

Let go: fear and intention

Fear. Shetty argues that fear is not the enemy. It is a signal that something matters. The problem is how we respond to it. Many people panic, run away or bury their fear. Monks learn to face fear directly and examine it. He encourages readers to look at what lies beneath their fears, which is often a fear of loss or a fear of what others think.

A related monk practice is detachment. Detachment does not mean you stop caring. It means you hold things lightly, knowing that everything changes. When you are not attached to an outcome, fear loses much of its grip.

Intention. Shetty identifies four main motivations behind what we do:

• Fear: you act to avoid pain or loss.
• Desire: you act to gain pleasure, money or status.
• Duty: you act because you feel you should.
• Love: you act because you care about the people or work involved.

Fear and desire are common, but they rarely lead to lasting satisfaction. Duty and love are more stable foundations. Shetty suggests that you dig beneath your goals by asking "why" several times. Often a desire for a fancy car turns out to be a desire for respect or security. Once you see the real intention, you can pursue it more directly.

The first meditation is breathwork. Shetty describes simple breathing patterns to calm the body and focus the mind.

Grow: purpose and routine

Purpose. Shetty uses the Sanskrit word dharma, which he describes as the meeting point of your natural talents, your passions and what is useful to others. Living your dharma means doing what you are good at and love, in a way that serves people.

He explains the Vedic idea of four varnas, which he presents as four personality types:

• Guides: teachers and thinkers who share knowledge.
• Leaders: people who protect, organize and lead others.
• Creators: entrepreneurs and makers of things, ideas and deals.
• Makers: people who support others and build the world with their hands and care.

Shetty presents these as types of temperament, not as a social ranking. He asks readers to find which type fits them best and to build a life around it. He also describes a grid that sorts activities by passion and skill. The aim is to spend more time on things you are both good at and love, and to grow the skills you need in areas you care about.

Routine. Monks rise early, often before dawn. Shetty argues that a calm, unhurried morning shapes the whole day. He recommends waking a little earlier, avoiding the phone first thing and building a short routine that includes reflection or exercise. He also stresses the importance of the evening: wind down, prepare for the next day and protect your sleep. Doing ordinary tasks with full attention is part of the monk's practice. Shetty also advises giving each space a single purpose where possible, such as keeping work out of the bedroom.

Grow: the mind and the ego

The mind. Shetty uses a famous image from the Upanishads, ancient Hindu texts. The body is a chariot. The senses are five horses pulling it. The mind is the reins. The intellect is the charioteer. The soul is the passenger. If the charioteer is weak, the horses run wild. If the charioteer is skilled, the chariot reaches its goal.

Monks train the intellect to guide the mind rather than follow every passing impulse. Shetty compares the untrained mind to a monkey mind, jumping from thought to thought. He suggests practices to strengthen focus, such as doing one thing at a time, talking to yourself in the third person to gain distance and detaching from thoughts instead of obeying them.

The ego. Shetty describes the ego as the false self that wants to look good and be right. A healthy sense of self is fine, but an inflated ego blocks learning and harms relationships. He offers a monk practice of humility: remember the harm you have done to others and the good others have done for you, and forget the good you have done for others and the harm others have done to you. He also warns that success can feed the ego, and failure can crush it. In both cases, the aim is to stay grounded.

The second meditation is visualization. Shetty guides readers to imagine calm places and future goals as a way to train focus.

Give: gratitude, relationships and love

Gratitude. Shetty argues that gratitude is one of the most powerful habits a person can build. He cites research linking gratitude to better mood and health. He recommends daily gratitude practices, such as writing down a few things you are thankful for, and sharing gratitude with others directly. He also encourages acts of kindness and service, which he says build gratitude from the inside.

Relationships. Shetty describes how monks think about trust. Not everyone in your life needs to be a close friend. He suggests sorting relationships by the kind of trust they involve and matching your expectations to each one. He also discusses romantic relationships. He argues that you should first learn to be comfortable alone, so you do not look to a partner to fill emptiness. A healthy relationship is one where both people help each other grow.

Love. Shetty describes love as something that expands outward. It starts with receiving love from family, then giving it to others, and widens into care for strangers and the whole world. Monks practice seva, or selfless service. Shetty argues that service is the highest expression of purpose, because it turns your attention away from yourself.

The third meditation is chanting. Shetty introduces the use of mantras, words or sounds repeated to focus the mind.

The book closes with a reflection on death. Monks sometimes practice imagining their own death to clarify what matters. Shetty argues that thinking about death helps you live with intention and stop wasting time on things that do not matter.

What the critics say

A 2022 article in Current Affairs and later coverage criticized Shetty for presenting quotes from other writers without clear credit and questioned how he described the length and nature of his monk training. Some reviewers also find the book's mix of ancient teaching and modern self-help broad rather than deep.

Who should read it

This book suits readers who want a gentle introduction to meditation, purpose and Hindu monastic ideas, packaged as practical self-help. It works well for people who feel busy and scattered and want a calmer daily routine.